We all regularly experience situations where our emotions get the best of us. We get so overwhelmed that our emotions completely start dictating our actions.Often it’s because we are in an emotional trance and don't realise what is happening until we were too far down the “emotional train” to change it. However, what you resist, persists. The way to overcome these unwanted emotional trances is awareness.The best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel and experience it fully. That way it won’t keep coming up time and time again. By following these some of these simple steps, you’ll start taking control of your emotions — and your life.
Ask yourself some honest questions :
what is it that you are feeling right now?
is it really what it seems like?
could there be a deeper reason for the excuses and blames we put on others or ourselves
it's important to identify the exact emotions, feelings and the real reason behind it, even if it means coming face to face with our own insecurities
Acknowledge your emotions: don't deny them
As we saw earlier, anything that is resisted, persists and deny it long enough, it will come back with uncontrollable force and have the power to damage your life.
the notion that what you are experiencing is “wrong” will block all honest communication with yourself and with others.
Interrupt the pattern :
Get curious and working about the message that emotion is trying to convey. For example, when we are angry, we are assuming someone else is not meeting our expectations of our definition of how things should be. Similarly, when we are feeling guilty, we are blaming ourselves for not fitting into an expected way certain events or behaviour or things should be. Worry is a world of imagination where we are just extending our vision into the future, feeling fearful about the turn of events.
Of course , these are required as survival instincts when one is in a real physical danger situations, but most of the time it's not. Our brains are just addicted to these emotions and get activated at the slightest provocation. Once we get into a particular state of mind, we go on doing more of the things that would produce a similar emotion. In order to interrupt this pattern, we need to do think drastically different.
Acceptance and flexibility is the answer. Solve the challenge as is, rather than from your own reality point of view. Be flexible in your approach towards self and others. With some practice, we can get over these recurring state of minds and be centralised.
Be certain that you can handle these situations not only now but also in the future. Lasting change requires practice and changing your old habits and patterns.
The ability to change what’s going on – to adapt rapidly and without getting upset – is the guarantee of success. Your level of happiness is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you are willing to live with. We should be stubborn on vision but flexible on details.